Have you ever had a wave of intense fear and panic? I just had my second one of the week. Not just an “ohh scary” but a “OMG MY WHOLE LIFE IS FALLING APART SLOWLY BEFORE MY EYES AND I CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO STOP THE TRAIN WRECK” type of panic. The kid of fear that compounds on itself, like a “If Thing A happens then Thing B then SURELY Things C-M will happen and then I my life is over and I may as well die,” type of feeling.
I have been lucky enough to find a job that I have loved doing every single day since I got it. Unfortunately, it is a contract position and that contract is just about a month from ending. Now, I am updating my résumé and am scouring for jobs again, looking for something I could love half as much as I love what I am doing now. That in itself is terrifying, but I also got a notice that my grace period for my student loan repayment is coming to an end, and I have to go back to paying another huge bill every month, all while hoping I can find another job to cover the expenses. On top of that, my car is in need of costly repairs before it can get relicensed, which is inconveniently due this month as well.
While things in my life have been going swimmingly this whole summer, it seems as though things are catching up to me. Real life and financial worry can only be avoided for so long it seems. While I still have many wonderful things and some absolutely incredible people in my life, it is hard not to freak out when financial stressors hit you right in the face. Solution? Panic, pray to 7+ deities, write a blog and go back to ignoring the problem.